Light and Soul Coaching
Active Listening
Active Listening
As a child everybody wants to be heard. We have so many stories in our minds, so many questions, so many inquiries. Some of us had parents that were present and available to talk to, to listen to or play with. Others had parents unavailable either physically, emotionally or mentally. They left us with words unspoken, disappointed faces or in pain whenever we tried to approach them.
When we stretched our arms to others in complete trust, and received not response, we got a message that said ‘I am not loved’. That message carved a place in our heart that will remind us that others are far away, that they remain emotionally distant despite their smiles, even despite their warm and open conversations with you.
Some of us have been fortunate to find our soul mate, a very close friend, or maybe a confident always ready to hear what we have to say.
Yet the majority of us keep the feeling of “I am not heard” through adulthood. We feel that when we say something, our interlocutor is ready with an answer, a solution, a point of view. He or she only hears half of what we say, and yet come back with a splash of commentaries. We wonder why we feel we are so different, so separated from the others.
Co-active life coaching is a career where the coach and the client create a relationship. None is the expert, both have a say, both are interested in making this relationship thrive in order to help the client transcend his or her limitations in creating a fulfilling and fruitful life.
The life coach hears out completely the story of the client and goes beyond. The coach concentrates in the client’s energy, in his or her tone of voice, body posture and the words being used. Everything is a clue to what is happening at the moment.
It is a very powerful experience – the knowledge that there is someone who is listening to me, looking out for clues, trying to understand why I feel the way that I do. By communicating with my coach, I communicate also with myself, as the coach guides to discover more and more who I am. I become aware of messages my body had always sent me but that I had disregarded, allowing what I felt were incontrollable elements take over my life, allowing myself to feel too busy to do anything about it. Until now, I always felt that medication, a pill, would heal the wounds. I had convinced myself of that.
This time it is different. After my coaching experience, I began paying attention to my inner world. I have had a persistent knee pain for years – but only now do I ask myself – what is it that my knee is trying to tell me? Are you telling me that I am stubborn? That I cannot bend? And I know to answer to my knee, to tell my dear knee that I am perfectly capable to listen to others.
I mark off a check. I have just let go.
I ask my body forgiveness for having ignored it for so long and so badly. I ask forgiveness of myself, for having ignored my body, my feelings and my real needs. If I have acted this way with myself, perhaps I have also been like this with others.
I cry as I open my heart to this beautiful world of possibilities. I am entering a sacred place: my body, my inner self.
Article ajouté le 2007-07-18 , consulté 232 fois
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